Only real bitches live like queens.

Contrary to popular belief. I just started my new job and this is the first week out of the training classroom, and I am working 10-6. I work at a law firm up past Parsippany, and although this 10-6 deal is great for my morning commute (I can sleep 1.5 hours later than I did last week), my afternoon commute still hits traffic around Morristown and I don't get home till around 7 everyday... then I eat dinner, and either go to the gym or talk to my mom before she goes to bed at 9. Then I make lunch for the next day and spend a lot of time trying to find an acceptable outfit.... except on Thurs. nights bc I can wear jeans on Fridays. So it's been quite an adjustment from the end of the summer and I studied all this legal info for work last week like I've never studied before. I even moved my LSAT because I was so busy studying/worrying about the exam for work this past Monday (I got an A so it worked out). It's great to not have to study this week, but it's not like I've been able to relax either. My brother got hit by a drunk driver last week and we found out on Monday that his truck is officially totaled, so he's a real peach. He can't sue her because he has no big injuries... isn't that fucked up? Since he was fortunate enough to not get hurt, he gets a shitty check and no truck. Not that this is my problem but he is my brother and I know it's hard for him right now and he didn't need this. Then yesterday I woke up to my mom all upset saying she thought Oreo had a stroke... long story short, I spent the day worried sick but she didn't have a stroke, she has some condition like vertigo for dogs. So she sometimes falls when she walks now and she gets dizzy and is a little out of it on this medication... but the vet said this is better than a stroke and she could rally. I am just glad she is alive because yesterday morning when I first talked to my mom, I was really worried and I am really attached to this dog... not only because I've grown up with her, but also because I got her less than a week after my dad died, so she was a big part of helping me through that. BUT anyway she is okay for now so yay for that. But it's not all bad... I went to opening night of 'Slut' off-bway with Joe last weekend since he works on the show, and we I got to go to the after party at Kevin St. James as his guest... free food, open bar, and Bway stars... what more can you ask? There was Jeffrey Seller (one of the rent producers for the non-bway nerds), Hunter Foster, Orfeh, Chad Kimball (so hot yet so gay), Brad Oscar... blah blah blah all kinds of B'way people just like, hanging out at the bar with us. That was a good time. I also saw a lot of Edison ppl from the past on Fri. night at the Italian festival, which was sort of cool and sort of weird... and then I took shots of Jager with Meg, Liz, Dave, and John. I don't even like Jager that much but it was Friday night after that horrendous week of legal training, and I would have drank anything. I've been trying to figure out how to work this computer system at work and actually do my job as opposed to memorizing these legal statutes and whatnot like last week. I feel like an idiot asking stupid questions all the time, but it's the only way I will learn. I HATE transitions like this, but like Chad always says, it's just a process that I have to go through (and I get paid on friday thank GOD). That's another thing... some terrible things happened in JetLand over the last two weeks, and after my initial bout of tears and wallowing and lamenting about how this was supposed to be the year, I embraced my absurd amounts of studying for work and was able to successfully avoid the news for the majority of the week. I've fought with many people on this, some strangers, some just trying to be cute (YOU'RE NOT), and I've basically decided not to discuss it with 98% of the population. So this will only be addressed once. I talked myself into finding the silver lining in this, and into being positive, and I have been clinging to that ever since and it's the only way to get through it. I see no point in getting upset over 'what if's', and I'm not going to worry about anything in the future until after the season. There are still plenty of games left in 2005, and I don't wait for football season all year to just write it off after week 3. As long as my team is playing, I will be rooting for it. This is why I am off theganggreen.com for the forseeable future. There are too many naysayers there who have nothing intelligent to contribute, as well as plenty of valid points that I dislike and choose not to even think about until things are set in stone. As far as Vinny goes, I've always liked him, and Val will vouch for me trying to win a Testaverde jersey at the boardwalk for hours back in the day. I know he's old, but really, what other option did the Jets have? None. I think that given the circumstances, he's the best bet, and also this offense is much better for his strengths (cannon arm) than Hackett's was. As far as 2005 goes at this point, we've got nothing to lose, so anything that Vinny can do for the Jets will be good. That's how I'm looking at it, and I'm slowly beginning to screen the headlines again because it seems some writers have useful, intelligent things to say now that the dust is settling a little. I've been off the media since last Monday for obvious reasons... mainly to avoid the negative energy they generate. So anyway, there you have it, it's been addressed. In a nutshell, I'm still die-hard and I still bleed green... I was there for 1-15 in the Kotite years and since we've already won 1 game, this season can't be worse than that. They've already taken my favorite... don't think Jacksonville's front four as well as Jason Fabini (please learn to block... we can't lose another qb) aren't on my shit list. Anyway... I'm going to Maine with Blower this weekend (ok saturday night only) because we want lobster and I like roadtrips. And now it's time to get some pics together for my cubicle (it's bland as hell!) tomorrow before bed. Matthew McConaughey is on Conan tonight so I will stay up for him... even tho I clearly watched him on Letterman and Leno, and Dane Cook was also on leno last night. Plus the Yankees are on late... some Angels fans were trying to talk smack on the news tonight because we have to stay up late to watch the game on the east coast... they won't be talking smack when their team LOSES and is OUT OF THE PLAYOFFS. Have a nice day.

Today's quote: "So how was Paris, when did you go? Tell your parents I say hello. Tell them my life is going just as I planned a trip, I'm goin' somewhere exotic, I'll show you the pictures, tell you all about it the next time we meet." -Idina Menzel, "It only hurts when I breathe"... except I'm taking the positives out of the song

Today we salute: Vinny Testaverde, for his willingness to come back and try to help his old team in its time of need

1. I need a new icon. I know Jessica Varrone wants to make me one ;-) (please??)

2. I am really, really, poor. I need income, badly. There is a snowball's chance in hell I could secure a new source of income on Monday. I highly, highly doubt this.

3. Doubt and I have become quite friendly since everyone went back to school. Probably too friendly.

4. I'm sick of being hit on by ugly guys in bars. I'm actually quite sick of guys in general. (Ok, not the ones I'm friends with. You know who you are. I like you guys... just not the rest of your kind.) I'm sick of every guy who has ever pissed off any of my friends, and I'm sick of doing damage control as a result. OVERKILL lately.

5. I gotta get out of the house, or I'll rot from the inside.

6. Tonight I waged a battle with aim expressions and lost. I don't know if I need to pay money to see them, or if I'm being punshed for ditching IE for Firefox. I restored everything to my default settings and explorer is still on this computer... so why the fuck can't I see anything?

7. I'm becoming fairly certain I'm going to bomb the LSAT. COOL. Analytical reasoning can go implode.

8. Incidentally, I'm sick of trying to be positive, and I'm damn sick of disappointment. I know, I know, I could be in the Astrodome. And thank God I'm not. I donated to the Red Cross... incomeless me. But there's plenty of other people whose lives are a cakewalk. When's it my turn? No? I don't get one? Ok. Great.

9. I'm sick of Hurricane Katrina. If I could light a hurricane on fire, that would definitely be the one I'd burn.

10. I wish I could fall asleep at a normal time and wake up at a normal time. Shame I can't.

11. I'm almost sick of football season. It's been taking its sweet time getting here... come the fuck on already! Enough baseball. Good Lord.

12. I need to find a new way to deal with not being at school EVER AGAIN. This whole sitting here and reading people's away messages and making myself feel worse is not going to work out.

13. I miss Jessica Arndt. Quit law school and come have chicken with me.

14. I hate empty promises.

15. I'm very, very tired of everything. I don't like the person I'm becoming because of it.

Stuck in a rut much? Yeah X.

So it's been an interesting last couple of weeks.  For starters, I calmed down from my post-college breakdown "where-is-my-life-going-i-better-figure-it-out-right-now" phase.  That is, I was calm until earlier today, when for no reason at all I got really sad about not moving back to school tomorrow for staff training.  Like, all of a sudden, there it was.  And I couldn't even take comfort in the fact that with any luck, I will be back in school, albeit law school, in a year, because it's not the same.  It will never be the same as it was.  College is over and the younger kids are moving forward to fill our shoes.  I feel for the class of 2004 and everyone who came before them, because I had no idea what they were going through at this time last year, until I experienced it for myself.  And I know this isn't the end of it... and let me tell you, it sucks balls.  Not only do I feel old, but I also feel like I'm going nowhere.  Like if my life were a war, we've reached a stalemate (that was for Sam Mustafa and his war talk).  Now, of course that's not true and I would never allow myself to just waste away and go nowhere, because that's not who I am.  I'm too driven, and thank God for that.  But, I still would give anything to be going back to start senior year again tomorrow.  Instead I am here at home in Edison, and all my friends who graduated with me are scattered at their respective homes, or law schools, or grad schools, or jobs or whatever.  We're all over the place already and it's only been a few months.  What can I say, I like to hold on to the past.  And my younger friends still have some time to enjoy the ride, and I hope they do.  They'll never get it back once it's gone.  Ain't that the damn truth. 

Of course, there are some things I don't miss, like worrying if my internet will be dead for a week upon arrival, or lugging all my shit across New Jersey in the heat.  I also don't miss Mandy's staff outings... but I do miss everyone I would rot with at said staff outings.  It is nice to have some semblance of freedom, but I'm not sure it's worth the uncertainty it comes with.  Treading in murky waters here, kids.  It also doesn't help that I am trapped in a house where the two people I live with have no sympathy for what I'm going through.  My brother didn't go to college and my mother went to nursing school and came out and immediate became a nurse.  There you go, all tied up with a nice little bow.  Furthermore I've been told that I'm much more like my father than my mother and well, he ain't here.  So the other two, who are just like each other, gang up on me when they feel I'm being overdramatic or that my feelings aren't valid.  I don't deny that I'm a drama queen, but even drama queens get genuinely upset sometimes.  Tonight was one of those times, and after a two hour drive in tears around Union county, I'm still not speaking to my mother.  I don't appreciate how she dismisses this 'crossroads' if you will as nothing and wants me to just keep going.  Sorry, but sometimes you have to reflect or you aren't fully enjoying life.  Ugh.  I suppose we'll make amends tomorrow, but I'm going to make a serious effort to break this down for her.  I need support right now, and it sucks when the people who support me most are so far away (ok not you Val, I know you're next door). 

Anyway, that was a disaster and a half and I don't feel like talking about it anymore.  So we move on.  In other news, nearly everyone I know has broken up with someone in the last two weeks.  What the hell is it, something in the water? Of course, as Empress of the Holy Single Empire (much love to Emperor Joe), I do love a good breakup, but even I've had to step back and say 'what the hell' recently.  It's just weird... I know a good four couples that officially bit the dust as of late.  Oddly coincidental, isn't it? I'm not actually sure where I was going with this.  I just felt it was a notable point in the apocalyptic state of affairs recently. 

In other news, I'm loving this Fall Out Boy song.  It's just brilliant.  I also enjoy a good "Because of You" by Kelly Clarkson.  God, I'm such a Z100 whore this week.  Don't worry, I haven't forgotten my true love.  I'm still going to see Brooks and Dunn on Sept. 23rd and me and the Peace just got tickets for Dierks Bentley and Pat Green in November.  Oh Dierks <3 And Pat's "Take me out to a dance hall" has been repeated plenty in my car this week. 

For good measure, I'd like to state that I am not a total basketcase and did have the best time ever at the Olive Branch the other night.  Special props to a Mr. Chris Nackos for footing the bill for us poor folk.  That was seriously awesome of him.  Also props to Val for being a true team player and being DD and hanging out with Little and I way later than originally planned.  What can I say, girls who know football are guy magnets.  Not always the best of the crop, but goddamn, I need to wear my jersey out more often! It was seriously just an awesome night.  We all had fun and I'm quite certain I blew more than one guy's MIND (get your head out of the gutter!!) when discussing my sleeper picks for this year's fantasy football.  Oh Football <3 In fact, all the free shots almost made me forget how shitty the Jets played.  It's ok Chadwick, I still love you.  You throw those picks as much as you want before Sept. 11.  I'm not concerned.  My boys will learn from this and they will be fine.  See, I'm positive about some things :-D

Anyway, I'd like to sleep now, since I'm sure a new battle in the wake of tonight's war awaits me in the morning.  X.

Today's quote: "We're goin down, down in an earlier round, and Sugar we're goin down swingin'." -Fall Out Boy

Today we salute: The New York Yankees, for rallying in the bottom of the 9th from a 7-3 deficit to beat KC 8-7.  Glad one of my teams won this weekend!

Hey Joe La Placa! I'd really appreciate it if you could stop making up fictional names as insults to my favorite football player when you click on my link spy. As Tracy Morgan once said on SNL in reference to Keyshawn Johnson, YOU AIN'T FOOLIN' NOBODY!

Thanks.

I'm trying to go to sleep at reasonable times now... but some key things in my life that you should know:

1- I finally got cable in my room.
2- Little and I slept two hours the other night because we watched the Food Network.
3- I spent all day at Jets camp Tuesday with Kelly and Little. We had quite the fruitful day.
4- I fulfilled my dream of driving next to a NY Jets player on the highway... And he waved! WE LOVE NUGE!!
5- Chad IS playing on Friday!
6- I made it to the beach today and got good color.
7- I'm still on strike.
8- NFL.com is finally showing some love to my team... not that I care, since I wrote them off last year.
9- I've mastered two driving routes to Hofstra.

Bet you thought there'd be ten, didn't you?

Finally, let me just enjoy this moment that's been a long time coming...

Ahhh, HOW SWEET IT IS!

Today we salute: Jets P Micah Knorr, who will probably be cut in favor of Aussie Ben Graham, but who is still a decent punter and a damn nice guy anyway. We also salute Kevin Mawae, for being the ONLY bigtime player (sorry Knorr, we still love you) to come over and sign for us peasants at the end of camp yesterday.

P.S. I'm watching Starship Troopers on my new yet beloved cable, and Casper van Dien (sp?) is way too hot to not be in more movies. Thanks.

... if i were tired right now. Shame I'm NOT! I sure did oversleep today, but rooskadj28 bailed me out and made it down to the car radio place on time. Actually, they opened late and I ended up making it in on time with the other car anyway. I am thisclose to officially having a new car... ok well not a real new car, but a big upgrade from the 93 bonneville. I'll get a 2000 Galant with a v6 engine. Don't get me wrong, Bonnie has been good to me these last five years (ooh that's a show that kod was in... ok so that was the last five years but same thing) and she made it to Nashville and back this past March. She's a real trooper and I will always love her as my first car. But Big Red is faster and easier to park, and a little prettier (sorry Bonnie). I don't know why I'm naming the Galant Big Red, since it's not really big at all, but it is red, and I enjoy it. Haha I just thought of someone else who used to be called Big Red... and I bet Val knows who I'm referring to... shame this person's son is a bastard. Anyway this post actually had no point at all except that I'm bored. I could read some more LSAT book and that'll put me to sleep, but that's what the library is for tomorrow. This makes two days in a row that I've gone to the library to study on my own free will. Val and I like studying because it doesn't cost money and makes us feel less like unemployed wastes of space. A note to the employed: At least people don't ask you everyday what your life plan is. Attn: People- Get the net!! I'm supposed to be enjoying my month of vacation and instead I am stressing everyday! STOP ASKING ME. The answer is I am going to be a circus performer. Happy now? Good. Oh also, a note to the uninformed who consistently try to get me all riled up about the state of Chad Pennington's arm:
I've been to training camp twice and seen the man with my own eyes, so anything you read means nothing to me. Furthermore, stick this in your pipe and smoke it:

“It wouldn’t matter how good I was feeling,” Pennington said. “I wasn’t going to play in the first [preseason] game. We didn’t want to take a chance the first game and have a setback when everything’s going so well. That was the plan since day one.

“My shoulder’s starting to respond now. It was kind of shocked for the first five days of training camp because I haven’t gone through that, but after the recent rest it’s really bounced back and responded like it should.”

So Y'ALL can relax. I'm such a peach today, aren't I?

Today's quote: "If you don't believe, no one else will." -The 100 Secrets of Successful People

Today we salute: Peter Jennings, for his contributions to the journalism world, and for inspiring the Slash Negrons of the world. (Yeah, I guess there's an ounce of journalism left in me.)

I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian.

I am the prostitute working the streets because nobody will hire a transsexual woman.

I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights.

We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time.

I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the room.

I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I have ever had. I
wish they could adopt me.

I am one of the lucky ones, I guess. I survived the attack that left me in a coma for three weeks, and in another year I will probably be able to walk again.

I am not one of the lucky ones. I killed myself just weeks before graduating high school. It was simply too much to bear.

We are the couple who had the realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for two men.

I am the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to avoid getting the management called on me.

I am the mother who is not allowed to even visit the children I bore, nursed, and raised. The court says I am an unfit mother because I now live with another woman.

I am the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system grow suddenly cold and distant when they found out my abusive partner is also a woman.

I am the domestic-violence survivor who has no support system to turn to because I am male.

I am the father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection to other men.

I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that.

I am the man who died when the paramedics stopped treating me as soon as they realized I was transsexual.

I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I didn’t have to always deal with society hating me.

I am the man who stopped attending church, not because I don't believe, but because they closed their doors to my kind.

I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most, love.

Repost this if you believe homophobia is wrong

The Jets got Ty Law!! And I got Peyton Manning on one of my fantasy teams!! Yay.

I'm so proud of myself for not neglecting my journal. I'm trying to take my horoscope's advice of slowing down. My AOL horoscope is always dead-on, so since it's been screaming "SLOW DOWN, ARIES!" for the last three days, I figured I should stop freaking out about jobs and money and living situations and focus on little things instead. Sitting here and updating this thing doesn't cost me any money, and it's something I used to enjoy doing before I forgot about it. To bring you up to speed, my job ended last week and I am still waiting for two paychecks. Get on it, Caryn. God. I was offered a sales position at WABC and as much as I wanted to stay there, I don't want to be selling air spots for the rest of my life... or even the next year. So I turned it down. They say to follow your heart, so I know I did the right thing, even though I have already had not one, but two jobless-related breakdowns this week. I have been running all over God's country since my job ended. I left work at 1 last Thursday and went straight to the 'Po and then went off to Hartford, CT to see Kenny Chesney with Little and Tiff. He was so splendid and I would definitely go see him again. I would not, however, go back to the Meadows or whatever it was called because it was crowded as hell and we sat on mulch, not even grass. After Chesney, we decided to go to Boston. We had no clothes or anything, but felt like going, so we just drove there instead of going home and stayed at the ghetto super 8 motel for the night. I love being spontaneous, and me and Little and Tiff make such good traveling partners that it worked out well. We hit up Harvard and stared at smart people and bought some shirts before a splendid lunch on Newbury street and a walk through Boston common, and then we headed home. I got home Friday night and then lounged by the pool for a few hours on Saturday before going down to see Lesley where she is house-sitting in Forked River. We had some bar-hopping hijinks on Saturday night, and then went to the beach and Toby Keith @ PNC on Sunday. Met up with some Air Force boys... interesting... and then ran errands for the house and had job/quarterlife crisis breakdowns together. After said breakdowns, we spent money at Target and then feasted on splendid grilled salmon for dinner and sat in the hot tub. Dong, hat, boots, what?? On Tues. afternoon we burned multiple CDs and I drove home finally. Of course I had to go right back out to buy Dane Cook's new CD and get some long-overdue pictures developed at Walgreens. By the time I got home, it was like 7:00 and then I had to unpack. I spent Wed. in the pool with Val because it was 1100 degrees outside and in my room, and really too hot to do anything else but swim. Did some shit for Mom on Wed. night, and on Thurs. went to the city to abuse the final days of my $224 train pass and eat lunch with Val and Joe. After returning from the city, Val and I drove down to the Stone Pony to get Pat Green tickets for Sunday. Got slightly lost coming back, but lived to tell the tale. Then I watched Harold and Kumar go to White Castle, which actually sucked because I was totally sober watching it. I would never watch it sober again. Finally today I went to Jets camp with Val. I postponed our arrival because I read that Chad was not throwing in the morning session. We left here around 1:30 and didn't get to Hofstra till almost 4. There was so much traffic on Staten Island, I swear. Worst ever. It has never taken me that long to get to Long Island ever. When we finally did roll in, though, the weather was gorgeous and we got a decent view of practice. I notice that these assholes who have on-field sideline access always make sure to stand right in front of the fans, blocking our views. Cocksuckers. However sometimes they move further downfield to be more up the asses of the players, so then you get a nice diagonal view. We ended up standing next to Curtis Martin's college friends, and later ended up helping them, so the NFL rushing champ now knows I exist. I DID get to see some quality Chad to Coles action, and I was delighted! Although Chad was not throwing as far as the other QBs (Fiedler looks great, btw) because it is still early for him, he was accurate and he did have some zip on the ball. It looks like Coles never left, the way Chad was hitting him. SPLENDID! I definitely think he will be ready for opening day. All he needs to do really is start throwing farther, and that will come with time. He has over a month left, and he only started throwing every other day just a little over a month ago. So our boy will be fine... and ESPN Radio and some fans I eavesdropped on agree with me. OF COURSE I have been saying this since day one, but the media love to make things worse than they are. SNORT. We almost got Curtis's autograph, but people attacked him before he got to our end, and the henchmen made him leave. We did get a nice pic of him up close though... see Val's rooskadj28 journal to delight in it. And his friends finally got his attention as he was going away, and he yelled to them to go around and say that they were with him so they could go with him. Then he decided to tell the henchmen to go get them, but they had already left to go around the wrong way. This left a very confused Curtis staring directly at Val and I, trying to figure out where his girls went. The henchmen looked dumb, so I took it upon myself to handle the situation. The NFL's rushing leader was in need! So I bolted after his friends and upon catching up with them, told them to go back toward the field because Curtis and the henchmen were looking for them. Meanwhile, Val told the henchmen and Curtis that I went to go handle it and get his people, and they were so excited and thanking me profusely for running after them, bc clearly I didn't need to. (Anything for Curtis, of course). So we left as Curtis's friends walked onto the field with him, and I felt like I did my good deed for the day. Plus now I can tell people that Curtis acknowledged me. Later on, we ran into the Curtis clan in McDonald's, where they again thanked us for alerting them because they would have missed out on the whole opportunity, and they said Curtis was so happy to see them and if it hadn't been for us, he wouldn't have been able to. OBVIOUSLY I like to translate this into "We made Curtis Martin's day", and that is the story I will tell people for years to come. I plan on going back to camp on Tuesday, and again with Kelly later on, so there will be plenty of time to purchase new Jets merchandise... MAYBE IF DISNEY WOULD PAY ME, DAMMIT. So all in all, not as exciting as last year (meeting the Chad, as if anything could ever top it!), but we did score free tix to Stephen A's (Smith) new show on ESPN2 and lots of Jets stickers (very clutch)... so still a great day at Jets camp, and the beginning of a new football season, with my two favorite players together again!!!!!!!!!!!! Also, please check out http://www.theganggreen.com/tc for GORGEOUS camp pics, including one from the morning session of Chad looking ultra cute. Oh Chad <3... anyway... I would like to thank Val for re-doing my LJ layout, although I picked out the vintage Chad at Marshall pic. And I finally made a new icon, though it's not very exciting. At least it's current. ALSO MAD PROPS to Jessica for winning JETS-Vikes pre-season tickets!!!! Best reason to not come to camp ever!!!

Today we salute: Curtis Martin, for being the only Jet to come over and sign things for loud, demanding people

Instructions: List ten songs that you are currently digging... it doesn't matter what genre they are from, whether they have words, or even if they're no good but they must be songs you're really enjoying right now. Post these instructions, the artists, and the ten songs in your blog. Then tag five other people to see what they're listening to.

1. Kenny Chesney- I go back
2. Shooter Jennings- 4th of July
3. Kenny Chesney- Young
4. Phil Vassar- Carlene
5. Toby Keith- Should've been a cowboy (live)
6. Phil Vassar- Good Ole days
7. Toby Keith- The Taliban
8. J. Lo & Fat Joe- Hold You Down
9. Dixie Chicks- Wide Open Spaces
10. Josh Gracin- Nothing to Lose

CHRIST am I a hick or what?? I blame the weekend with Lesley and all our hardcore hick cd burning... the only non-hick song on there is Hold you down... and some would argue, dixie chicks. Anyway now im supposed to tag people... 
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JETS CAMP 2005 COMMENCES!!!!!!!!!!!!!! DELIGHT! Instead of going at dawn as originally planned, Val and I will be going to the afternoon practice because I read that Chad is going to work out in the morning and afternoon, BUT will be throwing the most in the afternoon. Obviously I need to have maximum Chad time, so we will just rearrange accordingly. Some veterans might not go to the afternoon practice, allegedly, but as long as Chad is there (and Jon McGraw for Val) and throwing well, all will be right with the world. Finally, after such a long wait, I will have football tomorrow!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And I signed up for yahoo fantasy football with Dennis again today. I can't wait! This will give me something to focus on besides the job rot (x) and ABC waiting game (double x).

What I hope to see at camp tomorrow:
Chad throwing to Coles
A lil' J. Vilma action
Mike Nugent in action
Justin Miller doing punt returns, or just running so I can see how fast he is
Goddamn John Abraham (not gonna happen)
D. Rob in action
Chrebet catching some passes
Doug Jolley - please don't suck like Becht
The Dinger barking orders... I'd love to see Chad in the shotgun but I think it's too early... I'd settle for Jay Fiedler in the shotgun then

But most of all, I just wanna see my green and white back on the field!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So NYC just lost the Olympics... as much as I would have loved to have them here in MY city, I just think we didn't push hard enough for it. I think the late effort is admirable, but too little too late, and I was not surprised when we didn't get it. HOWEVER, I was stunned and thrilled when longtime frontrunner Paris LOST and the 2012 games went to LONDON, my beloved city across the pond! Ever since I went over there a couple weeks ago and saw their publicity, I've been saying that they deserved to win. They've got BACK THE BID: LONDON 2012 banners on every lamppost in London, and they have entire buses and tube cars WRAPPED in pictures of Olympians hurdling and diving and pole vaulting over Big Ben and the London eye. Very clever, and expensive, I might add. Virgin Atlantic's planes (the airline I flew there) had LONDON 2012: BACK THE BID on EVERY SEAT as well as their Candidate City logo and an Olympian PAINTED on the outside of the plane! Tell me they didn't want it bad. Everywhere you look in London, you see something Olympic-related. They have ads on the side of buses saying "Make Britain Proud. Back the Bid." followed by a number to which you can text something to show your support. They had all their people fired up for it. I even had a woman from a London radio station call me at work to ask how she could get on one of our shows in order to discuss the feelings of each candidate city and its people regarding the IOC upcoming decision. She said they were calling stations in all five cities because their people were buzzing about it like mad. I also drove past Wembley Stadium which is just being built as a football (soccer) stadium and to host part of the Games, and it looks splendid! (At least they BUILT their stadium... snort.) As much as I love New York and America, no city deserved this more than London, and I'm glad they'll be hosting the 2012 Olympics. As for NY, I hope we try again soon and learn from London's example. I think with more public involvement, NYC could definitely win its next bid.

enjoy this friday morning conversation between me and joe. this is what happens when people who should be relishing their post-graduation summer have to work in offices instead. this convo comes in the wake of some research we did on scientology and how completely absurd it is. actually, probably only joe will find this amusing. but if you want to know what i do at this office when the phone isn't ringing, here you go.

Me: its 9:35
Me: already i have received a call where someone vents all their anger at me over how curtis on our morning show is belittling and racist
Me: so if i could pass that on, thatd be great
Joe: HA Brooke Shields wrote a column in the Times
Joe: about how tom cruise is crazy!!
Me: SHUT UP
Me: NO SHE DIDNT
Me: OMG
Me: IM MAD I WANT IT NOW
Joe: http://www.nytimes.com/2005/07/01/opinion/01shields.html?ei=5090&en=7189d307fdb5772d&ex=1277870400&partner=rssuserland&emc=rss&pagewanted=print
Joe: "WAR OF WORDS"
Me: O BLISS
Me: HA LONDON
Me: ROXIE HART
Joe: HAHA YUP
Me: "I'm going to take a wild guess and say that Mr. Cruise has never suffered from postpartum depression."

Me: I HAVENT EVEN GOTTREN PAST THIS YET
Me: I LOVE HER ALREADY
Joe: HAHAHA YUP
Joe: She ain't playin
Me: "To suggest that I was wrong to take drugs to deal with my depression,"
Me: U KNOW WHY HE SAID THAT DON;T U
Me: BC HE'S A SCIENTOLOGIST
Me: AND after the shit i read yesterday, they're very against drugs of any sort
Me: this is so brilliant
Me: OHBOY
Me: HA RIDICULOUS RANT
Me: this is going to cause problems, im so excited
Joe: HA
Joe: So
Joe: mutiple people in my office are talking about this
Joe: apparently
Joe: and i MUST find out where
Joe: there are rumors going around
Joe: that Rob Thomas' wife caught him in bed with Tom Cruise
Joe: and thats why the whole Katie Holmes thing happened
Me: WHOIA REWIND
Joe: HAHAHA
Me: HA i loveyour office
Me: REALLY
Me: omg
Me: well.
Me: if this is true
Me: shes an even bigger asshole than originally thought
Joe: HAHAHAHA
Me: she could be with anyone, she doesnt need to be with an alleged gay tom cruise
Me: WHOMADE HER A SCIENTOLOGIST
Joe: HAHAHAHAHA
Joe: HE SURE DID
Joe: furthermore if this is true
Joe: rob thomas can do much better if hes gay
Joe: hes too hot for tom cruise
Me: he sure is
Joe: my love for brooke shields skyrocketed this morning
Joe: i want her to kick tom's ass
Me: i know
Me: i love her a lot now
Me: hal just spoke to me
Me: <3
Joe: hahahahah
Joe: hal
Me: fuckin curtis!!
Me: put ur people int he system dammit!!
Joe: hahahahaahhaahahahaahha
Me: oh, steven c is here
Me: he looks pleased today too
Me: haha
Me: oh boy
Me: people are mad
Me: bloomy aint on today
Joe: hahahahaahha
Joe: no bloomy
Me: john gambling is on vacation
Me: first of all
Me: this has been a problem all week
Me: but now
Me: due to his vacation, bloomy aint on
Me: i know hesnot coming bc hes late already and dr laura is on and she doesnt broadcast from here
Me: and also, i would have seen one of his 80 security by now
Joe: yup
Me: HA HERES A NAME FOR YOU
Me: Mahmoud Ahmadinejad
Me: The new Iran president
Me: and his children, babatunde, nketchie, dookie, and carl
Me: click click
Joe: HAHAHAHAHAHA
Joe: oh jihad
Joe: i don't want to be in this office
Joe: at all
Me: yeah i dont want to be here either
Me: none of the interns are aware of the half day
Me: i sure told them
Joe: hahahahahahahah
Me: its typical steve to not tell them
Joe: like steve woudl tell them
Me: its also typical steve to not observe such a thing
Joe: hahahahaha
Joe: half day?
Joe: what's that?
Me: not for YOU
Me: slave!
Joe: steve waits for no one
Joe: LOL
Joe: hes hoping they dont notice
Joe: and he can keep using his free labor
Joe: hahaha i saw a scientologist today
Joe: passing out those postcards on 8th avenue
Joe: she had this HUGE crazy smile on her face
Me: AAAAAAAAAH
Me: OF COURSESHE DID

exciting, aren't we? welcome to corporate america. my office is a disaster, with boxes and cardboard and movers everywhere. it makes me kind of sad that unless they choose to find an alternate position for me int he next 3 weeks, my tenure here is at an end. now that 'the move' is actually happening, i'm realizing i'm soon to be unemployed. x death delete. anyway, for now i will wait for 1:00 when i can leave and begin sunning myself for the next three days. happy 4th, all.

and into the fire we go.

so here i am rotting at work, and all four of my lunch prospects cant make it. rot! i will of course still spend the entire hour out of this office. it keeps me sane. anyway london was wonderful and the realization that i am gone from it is setting in. aint that a kick in the head? my office missed me though, which was nice to come back to. and i missed my friends somethin fierce, so tonight i am going oooooooooouuuuuuuuut. its very necessary. plus the weekend is supposed to be splendid, so i cant wait! ok lunch now :-D

...i just updated but it was a lame one. as for a real update, now that my mom has gone to bed and i can feel like sarah jessica parker on sex and the city, i shall post a good one. so here i am in london. it's great to be back but i wish i had my friends here with me. i can only take so much of touring my mom around the city. we got here tremendously late on tuesday night, and slept forever on wednesday before taking a bus tour of the city (yes po kids, the same one we took) and eating splendid chinese for dinner and strolling through hyde park. today was quite the opposite. we got up on time, had awful british breakfast, then took the tube (<3!) to westminster and bought tickets for batman begins on IMAX. it opened here today so it was hardcore selling out. we then walked around the london eye and finally got to go on the damn thing (it was closed last time i was here)... in the rain, of course. i'm sure god was laughing at that one. it was still brilliant and i wish joe could have been there to appreciate it with me. i took another 90 pictures of big ben and parliament. afterwards, we wandered around by the royal national theatre and i sat and pondered the meaning of life while staring out at the river thames for a good 20 minutes. if only i could do that everyday. we then stumbled upon a theatre with val kilmer's name in lights, and realized he's starring in the play "the postman always rings twice". even thought it involves not one, but two sex scenes, my mom bought tickets for us for monday night. one of the perks of vacationing with mom is that its basically all expenses paid. brilliant. i always liked val kilmer, so i'm pretty excited, regardless of if his show is any good or not. plus i missed ewan mcgregor in guys and dolls (unless i rush for it on tuesday morning next week....hmmmmm) so i need to see someone important, aside from neil patrick harris, who i'll be seeing in tick tick boom on saturday. i then took my mother over to the cabinet war rooms, which i knew she'd enjoy. plus it was still raining, so being inside was good. after that we had fish n chips at this pub called the red lion near the prime minister's house, before heading back across the thames to the IMAX for batman at 6 pm. batman, by the way, was brilliant... even more so bc it was on imax, but you all should go see it immediately. i've always been a batman fan, but i think this is the one to see if you're not a batman fan. it's not as comic-like as the others. i plan to see it multiple times back in the states as well. after the movie, we took the tube from waterloo back to notting hill gate... with a transfer in the middle of course. i'm so proud of my tube-navigating skills. it's like i never left. my mom of course, is absolutely clueless and can't even figure out the money here. fortunately i like to pretend i live here, so i handle it for us. our hotel is very apartment-like, and i can almost pretend i do live here when i look out the window onto bayswater road and out into hyde park. prime real estate here. on the walk back from notting hill gate tube, i noticed about 98 pubs that i would have loved to enjoy with my friends, but could only gaze wistfully at instead. all the more reason for us (and by us i mean me and joe) to come back here. also, westminster and kensington were just crawling with couples tonight... no doubt rich ones as well, since this is right near notting hill. i gave them all a good sneer on behalf of the empire. although this trip to london isnt nearly as exciting as my last one, its good to not have to go to work and just be in london and out of new jersey. at the very least, i get to make plans when i wake up, ride the tube, eat cadbury at my leisure, and stare at gorgeous british men and listen to their hot accents everyday. and damn, there sure are a lot of gorgeous british men. furthermore, considering i've just completed a semester of full-throttle absurdity and plunged headfirst into a full-time job in manhattan in such quick succession that i couldn't even fully unpack my things, it's crucial for me to be removed from my usual surroundings. in the two weeks after graduation, i worked 8:30-5 everyday at WABC/1050 ESPN radio (a job which i will go back to immediately upon my return next week) and took the train for a hellish commute. i came home feeling like i was 40 years old everyday... exhausted and without the benefits of a real full-time job. i was cranky to my best friends and most everyone around me who didn't work in manhattan, because their problems seemed trivial. my mom and brother also had this huge brawl which i won't elaborate on here... but if i didn't tell you about it, just know that it was bad and it hit me pretty hard on top of the other post-college breakdown bullshit. things are still weird i suppose, and i don't have patience for it considering i don't have much family left. i choose not to dwell on it, but that doesnt mean it goes away. that being said, this time away is already reminding me of what and who is important in my life, who is more trouble than its worth, and who is just a waste of time sent to make me feel bad about myself. thus i begin weeding out the latter group and taking the second group less seriously. everything is a learning experience, this i truly believe. and now that i finally have time to be forced to think about things (read: on vacation in foreign country with mom), i'm starting to think more clearly, which will eventually allow me to move on with my life. i don't expect any of this to make sense to you, just as long as it makes sense to me. this being said, i feel really shitty for missing some people's graduation parties. i was just going so fast trying to get to work running on fumes that when i got home friday night and through most of the weekend, i slept... and packed to come here. and now that i'm here on the correct time, i sleep. and i will have to make it up to these people when i get home. i don't know how long i'm going to be working at this job because they keep pushing the move date back, but i'm realizing that it's money and i don't have to go back to school in september, so i might as well just go with it and get paid, and build a schedule around it instead of putting my life on hold until it ends. i've been reading like mad (the devil wears prada is god, and its so fitting for right now), and i'm also working on this LSAT book and i think i'm going to study my spanish again. also, val and i are planning a roadtrip to texas in august. she is my oldest friend and i think it's absurd that we've never done a roadtrip together, so obviously, we go to texas. it'll be brilliant. anyway... i'm going to bed now, a little after midnight here in the UK. i'll see you all again soon.

today's quote: "it had all happened so fast, so frenetically, that i hadn't had time to debate and deliberate as usual. but i had a good feeling that this was an opportunity i'd be crazy to turn down." -the devil wears prada

today we salute: virgin atlantic airways, for offering over 40 seatback movies on demand (i watched hitch on the way over and plan on ocean's twelve and others on the way back) and serving good food, and for employing british staff.

CHAD IS THROWING AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!! Let us all rejoice.


Also, London sends its love to everyone... except for two people who shall remain nameless ;-)

MY LITTLE KOD WON HIS FIRST TONY AWARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That's right, the man named Norbert Leo Butz, who Peter, Jessica, and I have supported since we were FIFTEEN YEARS OLD, back when NO ONE knew who he was, BROUGHT HOME THE GOLD TONIGHT BABY!

OH KODWICH I'M SO PROUD OF YOU!! Obviously I cursed out Hank Azaria and swore off all his films prior to Bernadette Peters' announcement of the winner, just in case.  I felt he was the biggest threat.  But I KNEW IT, this was KOD's year.  And he TOTALLY deserved it.  It's so funny now that people know who he is.  NO one ever had any idea who he was back in the day, SEVEN YEARS AGO, when Peter and I were elated because he bought us dinner. (had to throw that in, what did you expect?)... Finally, the world sees this man's talent.  Granted he used to be far more attractive, but he still sings damn good (shame scoundrels doesn't do him justice). 

ANYWAY... just HAD to say:

CONGRATULATIONS NORBERT!!!!!!!!!!! WE ARE SO PROUD OF YOU!!!!!

(even if you get groupies and become too good for us.  then i might not like you as much and will probably call you a snide asshole, but i'll still be proud.)

Guys Like That You're Charming You're the girl most guys can't get out of their heads Even if they met you on a bad hair day :-) You just seem to "click" with everyone you meet So even if a guy forgets about you for a second... his friends haven't! What Do Guys Like About You? Take This Quiz :-) Find the Love of Your Life (and More Love Quizzes) at Your New Romance.

I promise a larger, more pensive update post-shower. I know, you're all dying for it.